Above all... don't take it all too seriously....

Anyone who grew up in the UK in the 60's, 70's or 80's will almost certainly have come into contact with Ladybird Books.  In a stroke of genius, the publishers have recently created some adult versions, using the original artwork from the childrens' books.  These two images are taken from the one on 'Mindfulness'.  

Look after yourself, but have Frazzles once in a while too.  

Do something new.

Want to try a new hobby in 2016?  Have you always yearned to do something, but never had the courage/time/commitment to actually do it?  Why not do it this year?  If you are looking for ideas,  try this website:

http://discoverahobby.com/

Count your blessings (again)

Earlier in the month we published a short post on the value of gratitude.  (See post 17 Jan 2016).

Here is a rather useful website.  Not only does the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence show some of the benefits of practising gratitude, it gives some very useful ideas on how to do it.

http://ei.yale.edu/what-is-gratitude/

Take pride...

Remember Barbara Fredrickson's 10 forms of positivity?  (See post 2 Jan 2016).   We are often taught as young children that pride is a 'sin' or at least something to be discouraged.  However, well-directed pride can aid your sense of well-being.  Take a moment to review the things you have done today that make you feel proud.

A little inspiration, if you want to be kind but don't know how...

I came across this website the other day.  Acts of kindness don't need to be big.  Here are a few ideas to inspire.

http://justsomething.co/25-random-acts-of-kindness-that-will-restore-your-faith-in-humanity/

The NHS's five steps to wellbeing.

This is an extract from the NHS website on well-being, 'Five steps to mental well-being':

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/improve-mental-wellbeing.aspx

Evidence suggests there are five steps we can all take to improve our mental well-being.

If you approach them with an open mind and try them out, you can judge the results yourself.

• connect – connect with the people around you: your family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. Spend time developing these relationships. 
• be active – you don't have to go to the gym. Take a walk, go cycling or play a game of football. Find the activity that you enjoy and make it a part of your life. 
• keep learning – learning new skills can give you a sense of achievement and a new confidence. So why not sign up for that cooking course, start learning to play a musical instrument, or figure out how to fix your bike? 
• give to others – even the smallest act can count, whether it's a smile, a thank you or a kind word. Larger acts, such as volunteering at your local community centre, can improve your mental wellbeing and help you build new social networks. 
• be mindful – be more aware of the present moment, including your feelings and thoughts, your body and the world around you. Some people call this awareness "mindfulness", and it can positively change the way you feel about life and how you approach challenges. 

Be awesome.

Time, Heart & Behaviour

Logging your awesome year

The opportunity called life

Life is love

Note to self

Choose your attitude

'Truth is, I'll never know all there is to know about you just as you will never know all there is to know about me. Humans are by nature too complicated to be understood fully. So, we can choose either to approach our fellow human beings with suspicion or to approach them with an open mind, a dash of optimism and a great deal of candour.'

Tom Hanks

Smile

Here's one that might sound a bit bizarre, but amazingly it's true!  It will already be obvious to you that if you are happy you will smile.  But did you know that the converse is also true?  If you move the muscles in your face to the same position that they are when you smile, you will actually begin to experience the same emotional state of happiness that causes you to smile in the first place.  It can feel a bit weird at first; it does take a bit of practise, but the effects are cumulative.  The more you do it, the easier it becomes.  Try it, what's to lose?

Count your blessings

'A grateful heart is  the beginning of greatness.  It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love and well-being.'  James E Faust.

At the end of every day, take a few minutes to reflect on all the things you are grateful for.  They can be big or small; they can be tangible or intangible, they can be things you consciously chose to do, or things that happened by chance.  Whatever, they might be, make sure that as you list them, re-connect with that feeling of gratitude.  Aim for at least 10 different things that have occurred that day.  Make it a habit.

Love the one you're with...

There is now a growing body of evidence to suggest that the quality and extent of our relationships with others can have positive effects on our well-being.  Conversely, being alone is known to have detrimental effects on health and mental well-being.  

Here are some ideas for aiding your well-being through relationships:

• Seek out ways to extend your network - for example, at have lunch with a different person every day.
• Think of someone you love and care for.  When was the last time you really spent time with that person?  Call them and arrange to meet, with no other purpose than to re-connect.
• Learn to assert yourself in relationships.  Be clear what you stand for, while also respecting their right to do the same.  Negotiate.
• If there is person in your life with whom you have an unresolved disagreement, start the new year by aiming to work through it and put it behind you.  You may not be able to reach a mutually agreeable solution, but the fact that you both tried can allow you to let go.

5 Steps to stay mentally healthy at work

Grow by Paulo Coelho

Take time to smell the roses

It's an often-used phrase, but actually there is sound research to suggest that taking time out for a short walk in a natural environment, doesn't just help your physical health, but also your sense of well-being.  

Find a place to walk for 20-30 minutes, like a park or canal path, where you can contemplate nature.  Take time to fully experience your environment.  Use all your senses to allow yourself to be fully present.

You are what you eat...

January. Often it's the time of year where we own up to the fact that we eat too much, and chow down on things that we know aren't good for us.  Maybe we graze a little too often, or we are guilty of substituting a good lunch for that 'bag of crisps starter with a chocolate bar desert' lunch-on-the-go, because we are busy and running behind schedule.

What we eat affects our physical and mental health.

There are thousands of websites to get information on how to eat better and apps that will help you track your calorie intake.  The real key is to make a decision that you are going to change.

Here's just one site to help you get started.  You are where you are, so if you decide to complete the University of Nottingham's self assessment questionnaire, don't feel guilty.  Make small changes that you can sustain and build on.

https://www.nottingham.ac.uk/research/groups/work-health-wellbeing/physical-health/diet-nutrition.aspx

Sleep on it.

When was the last time you assessed the quality of your sleeping?  Sounds a bit strange, doesn't it?  But this seemingly 'doing nothing' part of our day, is vital to our health and well-being.  In these days of multiple social media channels, many people are making checking their Facebook page or emails, their first and last activity of the day.  It's not that this is necessarily a bad habit, in itself, although you could argue that receiving bad news at the start of a day is not going to help your mood for the rest of it, nor is a difficult text just before you put the lights out going to help you sleep.  What I'm really asking, is do you at least question whether or not to check your phone?  Or have you got into the habit of doing it automatically, without a thought to the consequences?  Are you sleepwalking into a bad night's sleep?

There are lots of resources out there that give advice on how to sleep better.  There are even apps that will monitor your natural bio-rhythms and wake you up in a way that sets you up for the day.

Here's just one site to get you started:

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/sleep/how-to-sleep-better.htm

Thought for the day:  What is one thing you could do (or stop doing) that would help you get the most from your sleep?

Energise yourself by doing the same for others

A bang-up-to-date take on staying energised at work appeared this week on The Chartered Institute of Personnel Management's blog (5 Jan 2016):

http://www.cipd.co.uk/pm/peoplemanagement/b/weblog/archive/2016/01/05/opinion-how-high-are-your-energy-levels-it-s-a-question-that-hr-should-ask-more.aspx

The article by Jan Hills, 'How high are your energy levels?' argues that we can have a positive effect on our colleagues.  

Here are some of the things that Jan recommends you can do to help promote energy in the workplace:

• Seek out someone who is high energy and feed off their positive emotions 

• Clarify your goals for the year and take one or two steps towards achieving them 

• Do something you feel passionate about 

• Work on something you know you are good at. We feel more energised when we connect with our competence 

• Spend time with other people, preferably people you like and preferably face to face.

Thought for the day:  Pick one of the above and experiment with it for a day.  The positive energy you put out will find a way back to you.

Letting go

One of the powerful messages in Gill Hasson's book, 'Mindfulness' is that she shows practical applications for living your life in a mindful way.  One contributing factor to our well-being is having the capacity and courage to forgive.  As Gill says in her book, 'Forgiveness means letting go of the resentment, frustration or anger that you feel as a result of someone else's actions.  It involves no longer wanting punishment, revenge or compensation.'

Acting in a forgiving way is definitely one of those things that is much easier to say than it is to do, especially if you feel you have been wronged or treated unfairly.  The first step in forgiving someone is to acknowledge how you feel.  Don't judge it, nor diminish it; it's just how you feel.  It may really be the case that you are the injured party and the other person did not act kindly towards you.  No matter, it's in the past and it's what you do next that counts.

If you can truly acknowledge how you feel about what happened to you and your feelings towards the other person, the next stage is to let go.  For some people, this happens as a natural consequence of the first step; simply giving yourself time to fully explore what happened can cause you to let it go.  At other times you may want to create a more structured or deliberate act, for example, saying, 'I forgive you' out loud.

Finally, there is the process of acceptance.  Accepting what has happened, accepting that the past cannot be changed and choosing to move forward in a way that creates the kind of future you want.

Thought for the day:  If there is something or someone, from the past, that is now holding you back, find a way to forgive.  This is for you, you are doing it for your own well-being.  If another person was involved in the original incident, they do not necessarily have to be present for you to feel better.

'We're lost in music, caught in a trap...'

In his book, 'Distraction', Damon Young argues that 'distraction is the very opposite of emancipation', or to put it another way, there are so many influences on our lives (on demand TV, social media, 24/7 news etc) that we lose sight of who we are.  We are distracted away from what is really worthwhile and trade it for feeling busy.  It's a fascinating book and in each chapter he offers up ideas for becoming less distracted, more mindful and more attuned to creating who we want to be.  

One chapter is devoted to using the arts as a way of creating or simply for becoming more mindful. As he says, that doesn't mean we all have to be artistic geniuses and aim to paint like Van Gogh while singing like Maria Callas.  It's about creating and appreciating:  

'If we can’t all be professional artists, we can certainly seek this distinctive liberty in a more attuned perception and in lively imagination.  Given the attention it deserves, art is no diversion – it can liberate us from life’s commonplace distractions. What’s common is an inability to overcome education and training, to resist the baggage of entrenched knowledge.'

Thought for the day:  Spend time looking at the inherent beauty in things.  Pick an object, study it's form or how the light falls on it and appreciate it for what it is, no more, no less.  Take five minutes of your day and allow yourself to get totally lost in a piece of music, a text or a past-time.

'If even the simplest thing can transform into a tool of art, then we can’t be lax in our concentration and sensitivity.  Art can come and go without pomp and ceremony, leaving us unaware of what we’ve lost.  But the formula for enjoying this alchemy is remarkably simple: an artist who wields his tools with honesty and care, an audience with the sincere sensitivity to watch, listen and learn – and perhaps a writer to immortalise this magic.  From these bonds come some of the most vivid, gripping and profound of life’s metamorphoses.'

Meditation

Taking time out during your busy day to reflect, relax, re-charge or re-balance can be a useful exercise.  It keeps you resourceful and able to cope with the challenges and stressors that you face.

Meditation doesn't need to take a long time; it's more about doing it frequently and consistently.

Here's a simple meditation, taken from a really good book, 'Teach Yourself to Meditate' by Eric Harrison.  It's packed with simple meditations for you to try, many of which only take a few minutes of your day.  Of course you can do longer, deeper forms of meditation, but don't try to do too much too soon.  It's a sure way to not making it a habitual practice.  Start with something that you can fit into your day, do it and see where it takes you.

1   Red Light:

Instructions:

If you feel frustrated, smile at yourself.

You have been given perhaps a whole minute to stop and do nothing.

Let body and mind slow down and relax.

Take a deep sigh, lingering on the out-breath.

Let your face and belly soften.

One whole minute to breathe softly.

Be aware of excess tension in your body.

Gently shake it free, as you settle back into the seat.

Look around you slowly.

Come back to full attention as light changes to green.

The Golden Rule

How optimistic are you?  Do you always see the glass half full or half empty?  Two people can view the same situation in very different ways, so is it the situation that is making us feel that way, or is it us?

Research suggests that we actually need both; we benefit from an optimistic outlook, but also by tempering it with a healthy dose of pessimism.  The two most important factors are

 1) there is an optimum ratio of optimism to pessimism.  Depending on the researcher this varies from 3;1 to 5:1, but basically it means be more optimistic than pessimistic! 

 2)  You can train yourself to apply this ratio in your own life.  You can learn to be optimistic.

Two very informative sources on this topic are:

'Rainy Brain, Sunny Brain' by Elaine Fox

'Positivity' by Barbara Fredrickson

Thought for the day:  Why not take Barbara Fredrickson's positivity ratio test?  It's in her book, but she also publishes an online version which you can take as many times as you like, for free.  It's a good way of charting your progress.  You can find it at:

www.PositivityRatio.com

Acts of kindness

You may remember the story of Luke Cameron, who set himself the task of committing at least one act of kindness every day, for a year.  He succeeded and became a media celebrity as a result.  You can read about him on our blog (9 January 2015) or visit his website,  http://thegooddeeddiary.com/.

Luke's endeavours inspired me to have a go, and so I spent 2016 aiming to complete an act of kindness every day.  I kept a log, which I won't bore you with, but I pretty much succeeded.  (Some days I forgot to fill in my log and by the time I got round to updating it, I'd forgotten what I'd done, but I'm pretty sure I did something every day).   The funniest act of kindness was trying to explain to a traveller in Munich airport, using only basic German that he was about to exit the Gents' toilets with a four foot tail of toilet paper streaming from the back of his jeans!  Some of the time it was something really small, like paying a stranger a compliment.  Sometimes it didn't really seem that big a deal, like putting my change into a charity box.  The best ones; the most fulfilling were ones that felt like genuine gifts to people.  It wasn't their financial value, it was what it did for the other person that made the difference.  (I think the highest value act I committed was probably worth about £600, but opened up a whole new world for the recipient).

And research is emerging that being kind actually has health benefits for the giver.  Think about what you have to do to be kind.  You have to put yourself in the shoes of the other person and imagine what life is like for them right now, what they might need/like and how you can help.  In short, it moves your perspective to the present and from 'self' to 'other'.  It's difficult to remember the things you are not happy about while you are focused on taking care of someone else.

Thought for the day:  Look for ways of committing acts of kindness through the day.  Go and look at Luke's blog for some great ideas.  My advice for being kind and also promoting you own well-being:

• Do it with joy in your heart, because you want to, not because you should.
• Acts of service beat financial donations every time.
• Be mindful and present when being kind.  Actively choose to do it and be aware when you do it.
• Be unconditional (Don't do it to expect something in return).
• Do it proactively (Don't wait to be asked).

When you are at your best...who are you? And at your worst....?

Answer these questions. There are no right or wrong answers:

1.  From the following list, pick three words or phrases that you believe best describe you:

2.  Now, using the same list of words, what three words or phrases do you think close colleagues would use if asked to describe your reputation?  


Are they the same words you chose in your first answer, or something different?  

3.  When you are feeling under pressure or others are giving you a hard time, which of the following are you most likely to do?

• remove yourself from the situation and re-group/give yourself time to think.
• work hard to maintain the relationship.
• meet the challenge head-on with a 'never-back-down' attitude.

4.  You have to complete a challenging task.  How would you know you had completed it to your own satisfaction?

• It gives you a sense of achievement and/or raises your range of power and influence as a result.
• It enhances your reputation and social standing with others.
• It makes you more secure and puts your future in your hands.
• It's the learning and growth that you have gained from doing the task.

We said at the beginning that there are no right or wrong answers.  And that's true.  But there are implications.  How you behave at work is how others describe your reputation.  And if you are the type of person that others describe as '...you see the real him/her when the pressure's on....' then what they really mean is that under stress your behaviour is different from what they normally see, patterned and predictable (often not in a good way!)

Does any of this matter?  Only if you are thinking about your next move, your career or how to become more influential in the job you are in.  You'll be relieved to hear that there is a much better, scientific and tried and tested method for learning about your reputation, your reactions to stress and what motivates you.  It's called the Hogan Leadership series(HPI HDS and MVPI).  We've been using it extensively with executives, directors and senior teams.  The Hogan reports, generate deep insight into how to perform at your best, and how to minimise the effects of your 'dark side'.  With teams it can provide valuable information on when and how the team will perform well as well as highlighting potential blind spots.


You can find out more about Hogan at:

http://www.hoganassessments.com/content/hogan-personality-inventory-hpi

If you are already convinced that you or your team would benefit from such insights, then please contact us at:

info@enthiostraining.co.uk

Standing on the shoulders of giants.

This one might seem a bit cheesy, but it's worth a try!  It's very simple and you can use it to easily and instantly change your  mood.  Sometimes, someone else comes up with simple phrase which carries meaning for you.  (In my first job in manufacturing, there was a electrician, nearing retirement, who used to tell all us young 'uns, 'Life's not like the Grand National son; you don't go round a second time'. 30 years on I still remember it!)


Thought for the day:  Choose a quote that you find inspirational or thought provoking.  Place it somewhere where you can see it frequently throughout the day.  Without thinking too hard about it, read the quote and reflect on how your world would be different, if you acted as if it were true?

There are many sources of quotes on the internet or via apps.  You can also view a plentiful supply on Pinterest.  Why not put make one your screen saver for the day, or create a schedule to receive a new, positive quote on your mobile for your commute to work?

Here's one to get you started!

The 10 Forms of Positivity

Being positive as a way of living isn't just mumbo-jumbo; there is a lot of science to suggest that it can have multiple benefits including our physical and mental health.

In her book, 'Positivity', Barbara Fredrickson lists 10 forms of positivity.  These are:

• Joy
• Gratitude
• Serenity
• Interest
• Hope
• Pride
• Amusement
• Inspiration
• Awe 
• Love

All of these can be learned, practised and developed.  They are within your own control.  The more you practise them, the stronger and more familiar they become.  Little and often is the key to lasting change.

Thought for the day:  Pick one of these 10 forms.  If you consciously picked out one of these to practise, which would you choose?  How would you behave differently?  What would be the benefits?

Give yourself the best possible start to 2016!

Happy new year everyone!  We hope you have a prosperous and fulfilling year.  In 2013 we created a 30 day self-help plan for anyone who had set themselves some new year resolutions (and were actually interested in keeping them!).

This year we have decided to take a different approach.  Rather than concentrating on setting and attaining goals, we want to invite you to think about well-being?  What does well-being mean to you in terms of:

• Health?
• Fitness?
• Relationships?
• Happiness?
• Growth?
• Diet?
• Spirituality?
• Innovation or starting something new?
• The Arts?

Why is well-being so important?  We think it's the bedrock to many of the other things you might want in life, including the goals you set.  Taking care of your well-being gives you the best possible start of achieving what you want to achieve.

Each day, over January 2016, we will give you a handy tip or simply something to think about over the course of the day that can help to promote your sense of well-being.  It's not a prescriptive programme, and you might find that not everything is for you.  But we do hope to provide you with some simple ideas that you can easily include in your other daily activities.

We'd love to hear about your own ideas too, so please post up and share!