TED comes to Salford

     This was our first visit to a live TED event, the TEDx event, held at The Lowry on Salford Quays on November 10th, 2013.  TED's strapline is 'ideas worth spreading' and that is certainly what a TEDx event attempts to do.  Much of the day is taken up by speakers, all of who have around 15- 20 minutes to stimulate, inform and entertain the audience.  Speakers come from a wide range of disciplines (we saw businessmen, musicians, cosmologists, entrepreneurs and some visionaries too).  The subject matter ranges widely too.  At first this is a little disconcerting, as there seems to be no common thread, so in an hour you may be treated to a spiritual approach to business, crowd-funding, perceptions of reality and questions of our very existence, but if they do have one thing in common, they all make you think.  As well as the theatre-based presentations, there are breakout sessions and opportunities to network outside the main events.  It would have been good to have had better internet access during the day, but the organisers have to be admired for putting up on display the live Twitter feed during breaks.  Not all comments were complimentary towards some the speakers, but that is TED being true to their philosophy - it's about stimulating minds and debating information and opinions.  

The event was live-streamed and some of the main presentations should make it on to the TED Youtube channel so search for that if you want more on the content of the day.  We will definitely be going again.

We are launching an e-learning platform

We are in the process of developing our own e-learning offering, using Moodle as the main platform.  Adding e-learning to our portfolio of services will enable our clients to use a blended learning approach when designing learning programmes for staff.

We go 'live' with our first blended learning programme at the end of this month.  It's a modular programme on leadership and performance management, so we have built in some interesting online activities to help participants consolidate, deepen and widen their learning in between modules.

If you have any advice or comments about what you would want from an e-learning approach, I would be grateful if you could post up here.

We will keep you informed of developments!

Miles

A piece of good advice

As part of my research into elite performance I came across this rather insightful quote today:

'Whatever range of abilities we have acquired, there will always be tasks sitting right at the edge of them. If we judge ourselves by what is hardest for us, we may take for granted those things that we do easily and routinely. ' 

It was made by Nate Silver in his book 'The Signal and the Noise' (2012, Allen Lane).  The book is actually about our (lack of) ability to make expert judgments and predictions, but I thought is is also good advice for anyone involved in coaching, either as a coach or coachee. 

Continually focusing on what we find hard or want to stretch towards, to the exclusion of recognising the resources that we already have available, might actually be getting in the way of the very thing we are trying to achieve! Take time to take stock once in a while.  You're amazing.

Raise Your Game

Read our latest 1 Page Book Review of 'Raise Your Game' by Suzanne Hazleton.  It's a rather fascinating book, and particularly useful for anyone wanting to start up a business or make a career leap.

 

It's a great, practical book, packed with useful hints and tips.

 

Click here to read more

 

http://www.enthiostraining.co.uk/web//index.php?option=com_remository&Itemid=82&func=fileinfo&id=86

Hogan

We've been using the Hogan suite of psychometrics as part of one-to-one work we have been doing with education leaders.  It's a very powerful instrument which is a very effective way of setting the 'agenda' for coaching sessions.  Hogan works because not only does it show how a leader might be perceived in terms of their strengths it also shows what happens when they are under stress.  We all get stressed sometimes, but how we respond to stress can vary.  Hogan calls these behaviours 'derailers' and you can watch some very entertaining examples of people de-railing on their website:

http://www.howdoyouderail.com/?vid=0

Enthios New Year Newsletter - 2012 Summary

Yet again this was a year of huge change for our clients and we’re very pleased to say we have seen a responsive ‘can do’ attitude to making it happen.  They are all still in business – this is not a flippant claim and many have even reported growth.

As a consequence, the work we have been involved in has been in supporting leaders and staff through this period of change, in how they feel and respond, even when there is limited information available on which to base decisions.  We have been surprised by the continued level of investment in people and processes, when the economy is still fairly unknown and believe that this message communicates is a confidence and readiness to deal with whatever comes along both internally and externally.

High on clients’ lists has been performance management and the ability to give good quality feedback in order to move their internal appraisal process into something more meaningful for the individual and in turn drive standards and results for their organisations.

 

Type of work we’ve been involved in 2012

We’ve continued to work one-to-one with senior people whose organisations are looking to them for direction and instilling confidence in those who follow – a tough task.  Getting back to basics has been a theme by revisiting self-management techniques, gaining much needed space for critical thinking and effective decision-making.

In Higher Education we’ve been involved with developing staff’s ability to be more assertive, and communicate appropriately with their interactions, whether they are through ‘enhancing the student experience’ or through the day to day interactions with their colleagues and academics.  Three leadership programmes have seen us working with Principle Lecturers, Advancement and Library Information Services allowing us a good view across the organisation.

Team building has also been in evidence but not just the ‘feel good’ day out.  Organisations have asked for ‘Purposeful Away Days’ which have been targeting topics such as strategy, communication,, inter departmental relations and managing brand.

What else we’ve done…

Elsewhere we worked in the third sector with a new client to develop their managers’ skills in handling their performance management process, getting the best out of the development conversation and not shying away from some of the issues around behaviour and attitude that needed to be addressed.  This came from a failed pitch for a tendered piece of work, but they loved what they saw in Miles and experienced our values in practice when he delivered a taster session.  Note to self – never say ‘never’ and always be you!

A number of our team have added skills this year with accreditations for Simon K in PPD NLP Practitioner and Shelle Rose Charve’s LAB Profile workshop – both apparently hugely insightful.  Liz has continued volunteering at The Christie - Young Oncology Unit- once a  week and I don’t doubt that in 2013 she will continue to lift the spirits of all those around her.

 

We’ve moved the business premises on the 3rd of January 2013 and hopefully none of you experienced any difficulties even though it was not without its challenges (I think that’s what we’re supposed to call them!)

Playing out? Very important to us!!

Well some time spent in France continually trying to conquer the language, alpine and cross country skiing, snowboarding, mountain biking, and anything else the country can throw at us, of course allowing a little time for an apero!

 

As ever Liz has been attacking life at full throttle, progressing 2 belts towards her black belt in Kick Boxing (not a woman to mess with!)  She explored Tuscany on holiday and sang the Carmina Burana in the Alhambra in Grenada. This year she’s aiming to complete a programme of Coaching for the business to set minimum goals for 3 & 5 year development plans and progress with 2 further belts for Kick Boxing.

 

Simon K had a fab trip to NYC with the family in April – beautiful weather, great food and the amazement on his son and daughter’s faces when they first saw NYC in the daylight – priceless! His plans for 2013 are to get out on his bike and enjoy it – that means getting significantly fitter first.  Simon’s commitment is to do this on a pogo stick (taken from one of those conversations over the phone - count me in on being the first to watch)!

 

I started running this year and did a 10k run for the Preston Guild and didn’t pass out, so I’m set for more of the same in 2013. Not sure if ‘playing out’ is the right place to capture this but a major house renovation and building project has become known as ‘Kate’s project’ and eBay’s sales growth can be accredited – in some small part - to the constant desire to keep in budget.  We’ll measure the success of this objective once everything is complete!

 

Miles – had an attempt at completing a Deca Ironman, but unfortunately picked the worst summer to try it.  Dropping out after 24 mile swim and 400 miles on the bike was a disappointment but also a motivation for having another go in 2014 and we still managed to raise £2500 for Right to Play.

So what does 2013 have in store………?

As usual our commitment to personal and organisational learning is never over.  Miles and I are becoming accredited in the Hogan Personality Inventory in January. I’m intrigued to find out both his and my ‘dark sides and de-railers’ that’s if I get chance of a peek at his report! Miles is about to become an accredited user of AQR’s mental toughness psychometric inventory (MTQ48), as managerial resilience is a hot topic at the moment.  He also commences his professional doctorate in Elite Performance.

Big chunk..

We’re very excited to be working with a new client in Financial Services on a large change programme.  The main outputs will be to re-energise the staff and lift engagement after a number of disruptive internal restructures.  The focus will start on the impact of the changes on ‘self’ and then move to a ‘team’ involvement to create the future going forward.

We’re lucky enough to be in our 5^th year of an internal ‘Executive Development Programme’ which focuses on working with senior leaders in the organisation who are selected as significant contributors within their business area. This is self-directed learning on a one-to-one basis, a combination of coaching, mentoring, sounding board and training – whatever is required by the individual at the time. One of the most successful organisations we have worked with who have great people – game on!

Another new client brings Enthios into a new sector.  Although we have worked extensively in Higher Education we are now entering into the life of the leadership team in a high performing Academy.  Enthios’ involvement will be coaching individuals, with additional facilitation of team action learning sets to complement their existing Leadership Programme.  We have a great deal to learn from this organisation who are already being invited into other schools to drive standards and raise expectations for both staff and pupils to ‘want to’ and ‘be better’.

We’re still involved within a large Council delivering the organisations PRD system, ‘Meaningful & Effective Goal Setting’, ‘Coaching Conversations for Success’ and ‘Meeting the Feedback Challenge’, along with ‘Performance Management’ and hope to widen the work we do with this fantastic organisation in a beautiful part of the world.

In line with one of our strategies for securing additional ‘long term business’ we’re currently awaiting the outcome of a number of tenders which would be 4 year  framework agreements around coaching and facilitation so fingers crossed Enthios’ national reach continues its progress to date.

We still love working one-to-one with individuals whether they are running their own business or part of a wider organisation. These relationships continue to cause us to raise our own professional standards to meet the demands of their ever-changing circumstances and environments. Thank you for the push!

And more thanks…

For those of you who know us well (or have taken a look at our website) you’ll know that one of our values is that we work with people we like. While this may sound ‘twee’, it’s the best way we know how to do the work that needs to be done, in the most honest way possible and have a brilliant time which is enjoyable for everyone involved. It’s how we build our own team and how we target organisations and individuals to work with. So thank you for supporting us through 2012 and let’s have another brilliant year together in 2013.

Kate Peacock

 

Day 31: Celebrate

This is the final day of our hints and tips on turning your New Year resolutions into real achievements.  In the last month we have talked about how to make your goals clear and compelling, how to take action, how to keep going if times get tough and in this last week we have looked at how to get the most from the challenge you have set yourself.  If you have already achieved your goal, WELL DONE!  You have already done something amazing.  For many of you it is likely that you are still on the journey to achieving your goals.  But I wanted to finish with some advice for when you get to the point where you can say, 'I made it'.  Our tip for today is:

Tip 31:  Celebrate, review, ask, 'What else can I do?'

Celebrating is a key aspect of achieving goals.  We tend to underplay our achievements but celebrating is a good way of keeping your motivation up, whilst also acting as part of the review process.  It can help to heighten your awareness so that you get maximum learning from your adventure.

Reviewing is something you will be used to now if you have been following our tips.  So, certainly cover the usual questions (What did I do?  What did I learn?  How can I generalise from this?  What will I do differently next time?). However, at this stage you might want to widen your perspective.  What does this goal say about you?  (Particularly important if you have overcome a fear or difficulty in order to hit your target).  What does it say about your ability to learn, to persist, to take a risk?  What does it say about your character?  Where else in your life would these attributes be useful for you?

Finally, a common experience I frequently encounter with people who set themselves audacious goals is they say something like, 'If you had told me 6 months ago that I would be doing X, then I wouldn't believe you, but here I am, I can't believe it!'  My instant reaction is to ask, 'If you can do this, what else could you do?'  Goal setting is all about growth and stretching yourself.  If you have achieved something that once you thought was impossible you have just done something amazing.  Perhaps (as Nelson Mandela said) you are powerful beyond measure.... so.... what's next for you?

If you have enjoyed this month's blogs on goal setting, you can find lots more hints and tips on a whole variety of topics on our website www.enthiostraining.co.uk.  Click on Executive Lounge and have a browse!  Thanks for visiting our blog.

Day 30: Work smart

This tip is especially useful for those of you who are pursuing goals with a definite finish point; those events where there is some kind of final performance eg a race, a presentation, a pitch or a test.  (For others, your goals will be ongoing and require a level of continuing vigilence and practise.  For example, if your goal was to stop smoking or cease drinking, these require ongoing maintenance).

Tip 30:  Do the work, but taper before the big event.

The idea of 'tapering' comes from sports.  The basic concept is that over the weeks and months preceeding the athlete's key race, they put the work in, but in the couple of weeks immediately before the big day, they tend to cut back on the amount and type of training that they do.  This is to allow the body to recover and to be in a peak state of readiness on the day of the race.  The tapering process is just a way of keeping the body ready for performing without over-stressing it.  Of course, what makes this short, relatively light period of training effective is all the hours of harder training that the athlete put in earlier.  

The same applies for your own goals.  If you are preparing for a 'peak performance' on a particular date, plan your time so that you have all your preparation done early.  This will allow you time to relax and also cope with any unforeseen events that may crop up at the last minute.  It is not an excuse for finishing early - your taper is an important part of your preparation.  On the other hand if you find yourself still cramming the night before an exam, or stressing over your presentation an hour before you give it, you will probably not be in the best state of mind to give of your best.

Day 29: Make it a habit

Our tip for today is:

Tip 29:  Make it a habit

If you have been pursuing your goal for the last month you have already done a great deal to enhance your chances of success.  By taking 'little and often' action for the last four weeks you will already have started to make your new behaviours part of your daily routine. 

On Day 22, we introduced the four stages of learning.  Making something a habit is part of the last stage, 'Unconscious Competence'.  This means it feels part of your routine.  By now it may even be feeling comfortable or 'natural' to you.  You probably don't have to concentrate too hard to perform your new task, and may even be able to do something else at the same time (Like, for example, driving while also listening to the radio, rather than worrying about what gear you are in).

Habit-forming comes from consistently and frequently performing a behaviour.  Paying attention to the results you achieve will help you repeat your performance.

One other thing.  If your goal is connected to your sense of identity, your character or changing how people perceive you, remember what Aristotle said:

'We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.'

Day 28: Be vigilant

A nice, short tip for today, and something we first introduced on Day 16:

Tip 28:  Learn to spot the early signs of relapse.

Imagine you have just had a bad day in terms of moving towards your goal.  Perhaps you gave into temptation and had that bar of chocolate that was on the counter in the newsagent.  Maybe you looked out of the window, saw it was raining and didn't go running.  Or perhaps you didn't motivate your team in the way that you promised you would.

OK, so you might have had an off-day, but there is still learning to be had from it.  As you review what happened, keep going back in time and try to identify the earliest thing that happened that caused this lapse.  Using the examples above, perhaps the dieter bought the chocolate bar because he/she didn't have breakfast.  Why not? Maybe they were in a hurry that day?  Why?  Perhaps they didn't do all their preparation the night before?  The rule is, try to find the earliest sign that you can do something about.  If you do this each time you have a lapse, you will gradually learn to spot the early signs as they happen, so you can take corrective action before you actually lapse.

If you deviate from your plan, don't be hard on yourself.  Use it as an opportunity to learn.  Plan to do something immediately that puts you back on track.

Day 27: Talk to the experts

Another way to keep going to the end of your goal, and another way of getting support from others is the basis of our tip for today:

Tip 27:  Talk to the people who have got the T Shirt

Sometimes when we start out on a goal we are worried that we might make a fool of ourselves, or that the people that can do this thing that you want to do, will somehow look down on us.  As someone who coaches in our local triathlon club, one of the comments that I frequently hear from new members is, 'I don't want to hold everyone up' or 'I would like to join the run session but you'll all be so much faster than me'.  These things might even be true, but one absolutely certain way of not improving is not to start in the first place! Everyone has got to start somewhere.

However, this will not last for long.  If you have been following our tips and have been doing a 'little and often' every day, then those early feelings of  'I'm not good enough' should already have started to disappear.  If you are now feeling a bit more confident, and you can see that achieving your goal is actually possible, then start talking to the people who have been there, done that.  My experience is that whatever your goal, if you approach these people and are genuinely curious about finding out how they did it, the vast majority will not only want to give you advice but will give you lots of encouragement to keep going.

In an informal setting (like my triathlon club) you can pick up loads of hints and tips just by chatting to people, so get involved, attend sessions and events where you can chat with like-minded people.  (That's why slimming clubs can be so beneficial).  If you are approaching a particular expert, who you have never met before, I would recommend that as part of your preparation you think carefully about what questions you want to ask them.  They will want to help but their time may be short.

Day 26: Stay flexible

On Day 9, we introduced the idea of different goals (Outcome, Performance and Process).  When I talked about outcome goals I said that they could be very motivating (especially over the long term) but can also lead to rigidity or inflexible practices, which can in turn produce stress.  Hence the need to also set performance and process goals.

Another way to look at this is summarised in our tip for the day:

Tip 26:  Work out where you have choice.

There are two ways you can do this.  First look at your goal and then ask yourself the following questions.  

'In order for me to achieve my goal what MUST I do?  What SHOULD I do? And what COULD I do?'  

This set of questions will help you decide your priorties in achieving your goal.  (In this case 'Should' means 'ideally what do I have to do, if I have the time/resources?'.  It does not mean 'what other people tell me to do'! See Tip 12 for more on this).  Once you have decided your priorities you can start to build flexibility into your plan.  On the days when you are busy with other tasks, you might only do the bare minimum on your goal, while on other days you might be able to do more.

Another way to look at where you have options is to think in terms of WHY you are doing your goal, WHAT you are aiming to achieve and HOW to go about achieving it.  You may find that you have little flexibility in one of these areas but much more choice in others.  Retaining a level of flexibility in your plans will increase your chances of achieving your overall goal.

A friend of mine describes it as like swimming across a fast flowing river.  There may be currents and rocks in the way that cause you to deviate from your path, but if you keep sight of a tree on the other bank then you won't lose sight of your overall aim.  In other words, keep your eyes on the prize but allow yourself some options along the way.

Day 25: ...but a bit of rest won't hurt!

Just to provide a bit of balance to yesterday's tip.  'Effort all the way over the hill' does not mean 'full on, maximum effort, all the time'.  (If you are pursuing a fitness goal, this type of strategy only leads to injury, fatigue from over-training or simply loss of motivation).  It can be the same in any other goal.  Trying to be perfect or do everything all at once, while learning a new skill is a surefire way to failure in the long term.  High effort needs to be balanced with periods of recovery, so our tip for the day is:

Tip 25:  Rest is part of your workout  (whatever your goal is)

If your goal involves physical effort, a regular and planned rest day is an opportunity for the body to recover.  If your goal is not so physical, you still need to give yourself time to relax, review your progress and plan next steps, based on what you have learned so far.  A rest period is not a day off from your training/learning - it is part of it.  Give it the same amount of attention as you would on any other day.

PS If you want a non-sports example, you might find the following one interesting.  I play guitar and many of my fellow guitarists say they have the same experience, of trying to learn a new piece, struggling with it, leaving it alone for a day or so.  On return to the piece somehow the mind has had a chance to talk to your fingers and it seems that you made more progress when you put the guitar down than on the previous day where you worked your fingers to the bone.

Proper, planned rest is good, rest is your friend!  Use it wisely.

Day 24: All the way over the hill

A couple of sports I get involved in are cross-country skiing and cycling.  These two sports have something in common; races can often involve climbing hills at a high effort.  One of the things that differentiates the real racers from the others is that they have trained themselves to extend their effort.  For most of us, when we are on a hill, because it hurts so much to drag ourselves up steep slopes, as the gradient relents as the summit approaches we tend to relax our effort, thankful that the pain will soon be over.  Real racers will do the opposite - as the slope eases you will see them change up a gear and keep the intensity high until they have gone over the summit and are on the downward slope.  By doing this they can demoralise their rivals while also putting valuable metres between themselves and the rest of the pack.

And this is my tip for today:

Tip 24:  Put the effort in all the way over the hill

What I mean is, just because you can see the end of your goal in sight, do not relax.  Do not settle for second best or for 'It's near enough, that'll do'.  Being average is not what you set out to do when you first set yourself your goal.  Instead of relaxing, use the motivation of seeing the end in sight to put in extra effort.  Go for broke and as the Americans say, 'Leave nothing in the locker room'.  You don't have to be perfect, but you don't have to be average either.  Try settling for excellence.

Day 23: The later stages of learning

Following on from yesterday's tip, today we look at the third stage of learning, that of 'Conscious Competence'.  This can typically feel like that you can perform the new skill/task/behaviour that you wanted to learn, but have to think about it and concentrate in order to do it.  (It's like when you were learning to drive, Stage 3 would be knowing how to change gear etc, but you might have to concentrate hard, with no distractions like the radio and maybe having to look at the gear stick to check that you are in the correct gear).  One important characteristic of this stage is that you can self-correct, that is, if you make a mistake you know what you have done, identify the likely cause and take corrective action.  So today's tip builds on that of Day 19, where we introduced the idea of a learning log.  You can get the most from each attempt at your new behaviour by taking the following steps:

Tip 23:  Ask yourself four questions

• What did I do?
• What did I learn?
• What can I generalise from this experience that will help me in the future?
• What action will I take as a result?

These four questions also help to analyse the situation from four different learning styles (Activist, Reflector, Theorist, Pragmatist).  For more on this look at the work of David Kolb.  A good introduction can be found at

http://www.businessballs.com/freepdfmaterials/kolblearningstylesdiagram.pdf

If you want to find out more about stages of learning a good place to start would be to look at Situational Leadership, the work of Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard who look at the four stages of learning in terms of Competence and Commitment.  A good introduction can be found at:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Situational_leadership_theory

Day 22: Look back!

For many years I used to climb, often in Scotland and occasionally in the winter.  The problem with winter climbing in Scotland is that you usually have to walk long distances, uphill, in snow, carrying a heavy pack on your back for a few hours, just to get to the crag that you actually want to climb.  Walking in snow is especially difficult as it sometimes feels that you take two steps forward and one back,  Each time you step forward the snow slips away and you find yourself slipping with it.  It's hard work and sometimes it felt that I was making no progress at all towards my destination.  It is at times like this that I used to turn around and check that the car park from where I had departed was indeed a lot further away.  Why am I telling you all this?  Well, sometimes it can feel that you are making no progress towards your goal, and one good tip is:

Tip 22: When you feel like you are making no forward progress, remind yourself how far you have come.

Applying a more structured model to this experience, there are broadly four stages that people go through when learning a new task or skill.  First there is the 'uninformed optimism' stage (Where you really want to for your goal but you don't really know what is involved).  This stage is followed by 'Informed pessimism' - where the reality of what you have taken on finally sinks in and you realise that perhaps this goal was not as easy as you thought it might be.  However, with some perseverance the third stage is 'Informed optimism' (also known as 'conscious competence') - this is characterised by a sense that 'I'm not there yet, but with a bit more practise I can make it'.  Finally, there is the 'unconscious competence' stage where the new behaviour/skill is so embedded that it feels like a habit and you don't need to think about it too much.  Stage 2 is the one I described in my climbing story.  It is the stage where most people give up because it feels like hard work and both your competence and commitment to the new task are low.  Knowing that it is just a temporary phase (part of the learning process, something to pass through in order to get where you want to go) and reminding yourself that you have actually made progress can help you get through.

Take a few minutes to write down in your learning log some evidence to show just how far you have come already.

Day 21: Something is better than nothing

A nice short tip for today, again with the aim of maintaining your motivation and momentum:

Tip 21:  Something is better than nothing

Imagine that you have set yourself the goal of running your first marathon this year.  You are committed to your goal, you are tracking your progress and you have broken the task down into manageable and actionable chunks.  Your training plan today says that you should be taking yourself for a 'long, slow distance run, off-road for 2 hours, focusing on cadence'.  Unfortunately you live in the city and your nearest park is a 20  minute drive.  Your daughter neglected to tell you that she needs a lift to the station, your boss phones the night before and asks that you get to work early as there is an important client who will be visiting, and by the way 'expect to be working late too'.  Your partner then tells you that they need the car for the day and then you remember that you left all your running gear at the gym last night.  Running for 2 hours today is about as likely as the sun going round the moon.

We will all face times like these.  Life will sometimes get in the way.  The key to coping with these days is to be flexible.  The worst thing to do is nothing - if you can do something that is always better.  It will keep you in the routine of following your goal (remember the way to achieve your goal is to take action and 'little and often' works better than 'one big hit').  If you do nothing it may be just a bit too easy the next day to roll over in bed and not go out running 'because it's raining'.  Now the situation has changed - you had the time, it is the commitment that is missing.  So, what are your choices if life gets in the way?

• Can you swap your activities with another day? (Eg Half our sprint session planned for tomorrow instead of a 2 hour run?)
• Can you do part of your planned activity?  (A one hour run round the streets?  Cadence work on a running machine at the gym?)
• Are there any other ways you can think of to integrate your training with your day (Eg take the stairs all day instead of using the lifts?)

Remember, if you do have to lose a day, do not try to make up by doing double the next day.  Accept that the opportunity has gone and plan for the future.  What we are really emphasising here is that by doing something rather than nothing you will still be moving towards your goal and you will be maintaining the routine that is going to get you there.  Keep calm and keep going!

Day 20: You are not alone

Some of the tips we have covered so far have talked about involving other people in your goal.    (See Tips 5 & 11).  It is almost inevitable that other people will comment on what you are doing and for the most part, you will find them helpful and encouraging.  So today we are looking in more detail at the type of support you can get.  Our tip for today is:

Tip 20:  Gather the right support for you (then tell them!)

Research coming out of sports psychology suggests that the type and timing of support an athlete gets can have very beneficial effects on their performance, how they manage stress and even how they cope with injury.  Four types of support that seem to make a difference are emotional, esteem, informational and tangible support.  Emotional support refers to others who provide comfort and security, so that the athlete feels loved and cared for.  Esteem support refers to the provision of support which bolsters an athlete’s sense of competence or self-esteem.  Informational support refers to support from others which provides advice and guidance to the athlete and this includes technical advice from a coach, for example. Tangible support refers to support provided by others which is concrete, instrumental assistance, which might include things like provision of equipment or transport to and from events. 

Knowing what type support you need, from whom and when you need it can add extra energy to the pursuit of your goals.  Once you have worked out what you need, tell those around you, so that they can help you in the way that will really work for you.  (It will also avoid those well-intentioned but ultimately unhelpful comments, like 'You should be happy with your shape' or 'You know it's the trying that counts, so don't worry if you don't succeed'.  There's nothing wrong with these in themselves, but if they are not aligned to your own goal or not what you need, then they are only going to get in the way).

Here is an example of how you can seek the right kind of support for you.  Imagine a business man wants to develop his career by taking up opportunities to speak at large conferences.

Emotional support might be seeking the encouragement of others or having others around him who can allay his fears in the early stages.  It might be having a friend around to 'pick him up' if his first attempt doesn't go as well as planned.

Esteem support might be provided by working on his beliefs around his right to work with other experts, or having trusted friends tell him that they believe in him and what he is doing.  It could be that he needs to have affirmation from others that what he is doing is worthwhile and relevant.

Information support might be signing up for some courses in speaking and presentation skills where he gets feedback, advice and a development plan from an expert in the field.  It might also include access to experts, researchers etc from whom he can gain up-to-date knowledge about his subject area.  He may decide he needs a mentor who has 'been there, done that'.

Tangible support could mean that he appoints a PA to organise his speaking diary.  It might mean having someone set up the audio/visual equipment he needs or someone to drive him to the venue.  (ie taking all the fuss and stress out of the situation so that he can concentrate on his performance).

You can see from the above example, that the information and tangible support are more 'concrete' and contain specific information.  Esteem and emotional support are more abstract and could be either general or specific in their nature.  You might find that you only need certain types of support - if you are extremely confident in your ability, you might only need technical advice to 'tweak' your performance.  You might also find that you need different support at different times.  In his biography, the cyclist Mark Cavendish said that all he needed before a race was 'someone to blow sunshine up my ass' - I took that to mean that too much information prior to a race was not helpful!

Social support is a really interesting topic and if you want to find out more a good starting point is:

Rees, T. (2007)  Influence of social support on athletes. In S. Jowett & D. Lavallee (Eds.) (p223-231) Social Psychology in Sport. Champaign:  Human Kinetics.

Day 19: Chart your progress - Part 2

This is an advancement to the tip we gave on Day 8.  It is:

Tip 19:  Keep a log of your learning

The tip we gave on Day 8 was to chart your progress.  This is simply recording the metrics, the measures you have chosen to show how you are moving towards your goal.  Today's tip takes this one step further and is especially useful for goals where you are trying to make behavioural changes (eg increased assertiveness, better presentation skills, improved confidence, more balanced emotional control etc).

Keeping a learning log provides you with the opportunity to reflect on what you have done, the results you got, what is/is not working and to plan changes for the future.  It is not just a way of keeping on track towards your goal.  It is a way of getting full value from the experiences you have a long the way.  This can sometimes cause a fundamental change in your thinking.  Instead of thinking of your 'performances' in terms of success or failure, keeping a log allows you to think about what you are learning at each step along the way.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself.  As with many of the other tips we have talked about, this hint works best when you do it 'little and often'.  Don't make is such an arduous task that you won't keep it up.  Think of 3-5 questions you can ask yourself frequently that will take you a maximum of 15 minutes to complete.  It is a very good idea to write down your response, though, as the act of writing will get you to really clarify your thoughts while also giving you a record from which you can identify themes and recurring trends.  Carry your learning log with you as opportunities to try out your new behaviours can present themselves at any time.  Try to record your learning as soon as after the event as possible, while also giving yourself time to reflect fully on what just happened.

Here are some questions that you can use, but pick ones that work for you:

• What was the situation?  (A brief description)
• What did I do?  (Your behaviour)
• What was the outcome?  (The result you got)
• What worked?
• What didn't work?
• What have I learned?
• What do I commit to doing next time?

Day 18: Integrate your goal with daily activities

This tip is in keeping with Tip 15 and it is also a simple time-management technique:

Tip 18:  Integrate your goal with your daily activities

One reason that people give up on their goals is that they treat them as something extra that has to be done.  When you treat your goals like this they can soon start to feel like a chore, and because the goal is only important to you, it can become easy to put off when other people make demands on your time.  You will have more chance of achieving your goal if you make it enjoyable and also easy to act on.  So, aim to integrate your goal with other aspects of your life.  For example, if you have set yourself the goal of reading more, you can get into the habit of taking a book with you everywhere, so if a meeting is delayed you can grab a few pages and your time isn't wasted.  Look for 'dead time', for example could the daily commute to work be an opportunity to listen to audio books or podcasts?  Make technology work for you - e-books provide much greater flexibility than paper books.  You can carry several books in one lightweight device, you can access the book through multiple sources from different locations and you can easily annotate them too.

This is just one example, but the general idea is to get creative about how you can make your new goal just part of your daily routine.  Remember, doing things 'little and often' will generally lead to bigger gains than trying to go for one big 'hit'.  All the little things quickly add up and this approach is much more sustainable.  Look to enjoy your journey too.

Day 17: Keep the faith

Tip 5 talked about making a public declaration of your goal and there are positive benefits to this.  As a general rule, I would encourage you to surround yourself with positive people who want to help you in your aims.  However, as more and more people find out about your goal, you may get a variety of reactions that are not always helpful to you.  (Last year, I took on an endurance event that was a big challenge for me.  Most people thought I was crazy to even try, but some of those people thought I was crazy and wanted to help me achieve it, others thought I was crazy and stupid.  The first group were the ones I kept close.   The second group I chose to ignore.)

Tip 17:  Keep your own standards in mind

If you start to meet people who make negative judgements about what you are doing, try to talk you out of it or ridicule yourself in some way for even trying, then you need a strategy for staying true to your own aims.  (By the way, sometimes we can do this to ourselves, without the need for others to add anything at all.  The first time I went to compete as an age-grouper in the Winter Triathlon World Championships I talked myself out of a good performance just by looking at how good all the other athletes looked and all the shiny equipment they had - 'How could I possible succeed?' is the conclusion I reached, all by myself with no help from anyone else!)

In 'Words that Change Minds' by Shelle Rose Charvet (Kendall/Hunt Publishing), the author talks about a type of motivation which reveals where people hold their standards for making decisions.  Someone with an 'Internal focus' holds their standards inside; ask them how they know they have done a good job and their reply will be 'I just know'.  Ask someone with an 'External focus' the same question and they will say 'I get good feedback'.  They rely on external information to make a judgement.  I should stress that both styles have their advantages and disadvantages and it is helpful to have a bit of both.  In this context though, where others might be influencing you to deviate from your chosen path, a good dose of internal focus will help you stay on track.  You can do this by adopting some of the following tips:

• Remind yourself of your goal and why you are doing it
• Monitor your own progress against your own standards, not by how well/badly everyone else is doing
• Rehearse some responses for those who pass negative judgement on you.  Aim to be polite but firm, and include a statement of your goal.  (It will help to stiffen your own resolve).
• If you are feeling anxious (eg in competition or performance environments) watch out for signs of being overly-attentive on what others are doing.  Stick to your own plans, routines and objectives for the day.  No one else is on the same journey as you; you are unique.

Day 16: Keep going!

OK, so you are now over 2 weeks into achieving your goal.  Have you lapsed?  Any moments of weakness?  Or has it just started to dawn on you that this might be a bit harder to achieve than you previously thought?  Don't worry, all of these are common experiences and can even be a necessary part of the change process.  (I will say more about this in a few days).  So, this week's tips are aimed at keeping you resilient, tips to keep you going when the going gets tough!  We start with:

Tip 16:  Have strategies for moments of weakness

Relying on will power alone to achieve your goals is a tough way of going about things.  A more realistic approach is to accept that you are human, you have emotion-driven desires that can sometimes override rational thought, that the world is a busy place and people will make demands of you that might intefere with your goal and that sometimes you will be just too tired to put in the effort.  So, if you recognise any of the above, then it can be useful to have in place some strategies for when temptation comes calling.  Strategies fall into two main categories; strategies for prevention and strategies for recovery.  Strategies for recovery are essentially about forgiveness and learning from the experience.  (See Tip 13 for some hints on how to learn from setbacks).   Today we will cover some helpful tips for prevention:

• Learn to spot the earliest warning signs.  (As an example, I have learned through experience that an involuntary eye twitch is a sign that I am stressed or over-tired.  Now I know the early warning sign I can take action early, before it becomes a problem.)
• Put an 'interrupt' in between the stimulus and the response.  If your immediate reaction to feeling hungry is to raid the fridge without thinking, then an 'interrupt' is something which puts a pause between the thought/feeling and the action.  This pause then makes the action a conscious choice (and you may decide to choose a different action).
• 'Interrupts' can be simple things to remind you of your overall goal (eg the picture on the fridge that we talked about in Tip 7).  You can then make a conscious cost/benefit analysis (Is it worth it to open the fridge door?).  You can also use interrupts that change your perspective (I may get instant gratification by eating this chocolate bar, but how will I feel later?).  If you have made the goal part of who you are (See Tip 15) you can ask yourself 'Is the action about to take representative of who I am and what I choose for myself?'  (That one usually does the trick!).
• Finally, in keeping with Tip 6, if your interrupt has caused you to stop what you were about to do (ie you avoided your moment of weakness) then make sure you do something else. Fill the hole left by stopping, with a more positive behaviour that is in service of your goal. (Eg If you were driven by hunger, you might still want to eat something but make it a healthy option rather than reaching for the biscuits for an instant hit.  If you are aiming to control your emotions, then find a way of expressing your anger in an assertive rather than aggressive way).