Letting go

One of the powerful messages in Gill Hasson's book, 'Mindfulness' is that she shows practical applications for living your life in a mindful way.  One contributing factor to our well-being is having the capacity and courage to forgive.  As Gill says in her book, 'Forgiveness means letting go of the resentment, frustration or anger that you feel as a result of someone else's actions.  It involves no longer wanting punishment, revenge or compensation.'

Acting in a forgiving way is definitely one of those things that is much easier to say than it is to do, especially if you feel you have been wronged or treated unfairly.  The first step in forgiving someone is to acknowledge how you feel.  Don't judge it, nor diminish it; it's just how you feel.  It may really be the case that you are the injured party and the other person did not act kindly towards you.  No matter, it's in the past and it's what you do next that counts.

If you can truly acknowledge how you feel about what happened to you and your feelings towards the other person, the next stage is to let go.  For some people, this happens as a natural consequence of the first step; simply giving yourself time to fully explore what happened can cause you to let it go.  At other times you may want to create a more structured or deliberate act, for example, saying, 'I forgive you' out loud.

Finally, there is the process of acceptance.  Accepting what has happened, accepting that the past cannot be changed and choosing to move forward in a way that creates the kind of future you want.

Thought for the day:  If there is something or someone, from the past, that is now holding you back, find a way to forgive.  This is for you, you are doing it for your own well-being.  If another person was involved in the original incident, they do not necessarily have to be present for you to feel better.