Day 17: Keep the faith

Tip 5 talked about making a public declaration of your goal and there are positive benefits to this.  As a general rule, I would encourage you to surround yourself with positive people who want to help you in your aims.  However, as more and more people find out about your goal, you may get a variety of reactions that are not always helpful to you.  (Last year, I took on an endurance event that was a big challenge for me.  Most people thought I was crazy to even try, but some of those people thought I was crazy and wanted to help me achieve it, others thought I was crazy and stupid.  The first group were the ones I kept close.   The second group I chose to ignore.)

Tip 17:  Keep your own standards in mind

If you start to meet people who make negative judgements about what you are doing, try to talk you out of it or ridicule yourself in some way for even trying, then you need a strategy for staying true to your own aims.  (By the way, sometimes we can do this to ourselves, without the need for others to add anything at all.  The first time I went to compete as an age-grouper in the Winter Triathlon World Championships I talked myself out of a good performance just by looking at how good all the other athletes looked and all the shiny equipment they had - 'How could I possible succeed?' is the conclusion I reached, all by myself with no help from anyone else!)

In 'Words that Change Minds' by Shelle Rose Charvet (Kendall/Hunt Publishing), the author talks about a type of motivation which reveals where people hold their standards for making decisions.  Someone with an 'Internal focus' holds their standards inside; ask them how they know they have done a good job and their reply will be 'I just know'.  Ask someone with an 'External focus' the same question and they will say 'I get good feedback'.  They rely on external information to make a judgement.  I should stress that both styles have their advantages and disadvantages and it is helpful to have a bit of both.  In this context though, where others might be influencing you to deviate from your chosen path, a good dose of internal focus will help you stay on track.  You can do this by adopting some of the following tips:

• Remind yourself of your goal and why you are doing it
• Monitor your own progress against your own standards, not by how well/badly everyone else is doing
• Rehearse some responses for those who pass negative judgement on you.  Aim to be polite but firm, and include a statement of your goal.  (It will help to stiffen your own resolve).
• If you are feeling anxious (eg in competition or performance environments) watch out for signs of being overly-attentive on what others are doing.  Stick to your own plans, routines and objectives for the day.  No one else is on the same journey as you; you are unique.