We've been saving this one up, maybe just so you can have something to smile about on return to work!
Metro (9/10/14) ran an article on things job hunters have included in their applications and CVs. We've posted up some of our personal favourites:
'The idea was a gift from God, so unfortunately I am not able to share my methodology'
(I would love to use this line when completing Request for Tender documents!)
'I have a lifetime's technical expertise. (I wasn't born - my mother simply chose 'eject child' from the special menu)'.
'I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse'.
'I want to be an astronaut but I think working in a call centre will help me gain confidence for talking to mission control from space'.
'I am a wedge with sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone's door and absorb as much as possible'.
'Please accept my application for the role of customer services director, which I appreciate may come as a surprise given I was fired from the position last month'.
'Previous experience: Marijuana dealer and nefarious dude with an intuitive understanding of supply-and-demand economics'.
'I offer mediocrity at its best'.
'To utilise my creative talent in a mundane office'.
'I am able to show up at the office on time, not only during the first week but even after a year of employment'.
'My ruthlessness terrifies the competition and can sometimes offend'.
'Duties: Pretending to be on the phone. Trying to work out what the company did and what part of it I was supposed to be doing. Hiding'.
If you have decided that you are going to enter the job market this year and you are feeling a bit out of touch, we strongly suggest you seek some advice!
No comments:
Post a Comment