Day 4: A little and often is better than one biggie!

The key element that makes the difference in achieving your goals is the action you take.  If you take no action your goal remains an intention, even if it was sincerely meant when you set out.  

Tip 4:  Taking action moves you to your desired end result. 

What works best is to take action 'little and often'.  Aim to do something every day that will move you towards your goal.  Your objective is to do something so often that it eventually feels like a habit and you get to a point where it feels 'normal' to do it; just part of your daily routine.  Don't try to go for the 'one big effort'; a 'blitz'  approach that will 'sort you out once and for all'.  These types of efforts very rarely work and particularly in goals concerning diet and fitness, they tend not to have lasting results.  By taking small actions every day, you will make more sustainable gains and also make it easier to work towards your goals.

Day 3: Write it down

One way of checking that your goal is SMART is:

Tip 3:  Write it down

This is a good way of getting clarity, as you have to organise your thoughts and turn them into some kind of external output (a written statement of your intention).  The process of externalising your thoughts can itself be an aid to getting clarity.  It will also link nicely with some of the other things we will be talking about in the next few days.  Once you have written it, check it for its 'SMARTness'.  You might even want to read it to a friend.  If they can understand your goal, then it is likely to be clear enough.  If you have access to a coach or someone who is familiar with the SMART process get them to question you about your goal.  

If you aren't sure, post up your goal here and we might be able to offer you some advice!

Day 2: Be clear about what you want

A colleague of mine once told me that as children we have wishes, but as adults we need to have goals.  The difference between the two is in the level of clarity.  Both should be compelling but a goal should be stated clearly enough such that it can be acted upon.  There are several methods for making your goal clear, and one of the most popular and simple to use is:

Tip 2: Make your goal SMART

SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic (and Relevant) and Timebound.    (There are other variations on this, but this will work just fine)

'Specific' - get detailed about your goal.  For example, if you want to lose weight, how much specifically?  If you want to get promoted, what to, specifically?

'Measurable' - how will you chart your progress?  How will you know that you have got there?  In short what measures will you use?  For example, if your goal is to increase your disposable income this year, how would you measure this?  If you want to get fitter, you might measure it by how fast you run a set distance, or how many times/hours you spend exercising etc.  You choose, what is important is that you have some way of monitoring your progress.

'Achievable' - be respectful of your starting point.  If you want to become an astronaut but don't have any 'O' levels (or are afraid of flying!) it is unlikely that you will achieve this in a year!  The best goals are the ones that are just out of reach of your current performance.  Too close and they are not motivating, too far away and they will seem impossible and you will lose your commitment.

'Realistic' - rather like the previous section, be mindful about your starting point, but also how much time you have to devote to pursuing your goal.  You will certainly have other things going on in your life so be clear about how much time you can really give to your goal.  (The 'Relevant' aspect can quickly be answered by asking yourself the question 'How important is this goal to me?  We will say more about this later)

'Timebound' - some goals are ongoing eg 'stop swearing', 'be more optimistic', 'treat people with respect'.  Other goals have a definite end point eg 'Run 10k in less than 60 mins by September 30th 2013'.  Regardless of the type of goal you set, it's a good idea to put some 'stakes in the sand' - points where you can take stock of your progress or decide whether or not you have reached your goal.  Having a deadline helps you keep a higher level of momentum.

You can find out more about goal setting by reading our hints and tips sheet 'Does your goal setting measure up?' Click on the link below and then click on the relevant pdf file.

http://www.enthiostraining.co.uk/web//index.php?option=com_remository&Itemid=82&func=select&id=3

Day 1: Making your New Year Resolutions stick

Happy New Year everyone!  At this time of year, many of us take the opportunity to set ourselves some resolutions (usually related to some kind of self improvement).  Sometimes we follow through on these desires and create a lasting change for ourselves.  And sometimes, maybe we don't, despite having the best of intentions!  Sometimes it just gets too difficult, or life gets in the way, or we have a moment of weakness and give into temptation.  And then we feel guilty or just give up trying.  Does any of this ring a bell?  

So, we decided that we would begin this year with 31 hints and tips for turning your New Year Resolutions into meaningful and compelling goals, which you can act on immediately and enhance your chances of making the changes you want in your life.  

Over January we will post up a hint a day, so keep visiting our blog - it may even help keep up your motivation.  Over the month we will be looking at how to get clarity on your goals, how to keep going, what to do when things get tough and how to make your new behaviours stick.

You can also put up your own comments - tell us what you have committed to, how you are doing and help others by posting up your own hints and tips for keeping going.  We would love to hear from you.

Here is the first tip (it's really simple but effective!)

Tip 1:  Take action on your goal in the first 24 hours.

This simple step will get you moving towards your goal immediately.  It provides a momentum and direction and it is the single most important thing you can do to turn your wish into a reality. Your first step doesn't have to be big, it just has to be immediate.  If your desire is to lose weight it might be simply closing the lid on the biscuit tin then putting the tin on the high shelf.  You might schedule an appointment, make call, join that gym  you always said you would, whatever it is do something today.  Good luck and welcome to the journey!

Coaching under scrutiny

I've just finished reading 'Smile or Die' by Barbara Ehrenreich, a damning indictment of the growth of the 'positive thinking' movement in the USA.  In her analysis she includes criticisms of positive psychology and also of coaching.  Some of her book made uncomfortable reading, some of it I disagree with and some of it I thought was long overdue in being said.  Obviously, I work in the coaching industry, so I've already got a view (and a vested interest), but nevertheless, it is a good discipline to read books like this, if only to hone your skills or to enhance your reflective practice.  Ehrenreich is matter-of-fact and to the point.  I like her directness.  I would love to meet her and talk with her because I think she would 'tell it like it is' and  in doing so, thoroughly test your own thinking.  Some of her criticisms are levelled at the industry, its overblown claims and its lack of evidence base.  Other criticisms are more about the potential harmful effects it can have on individuals, such as creating unrealistic hopes and expectations, developing motivation without capability and a failure to address the impact of an individual's circumstances on their opportunities.

Coincidentally, two papers covering the same topic were published in OP Matters (BPS, No 17, November 2012).  Rob Briner's paper ('Does coaching work and does anyone really care?') shows up a number of potential weaknesses in the coaching profession.  It has a relatively low 'entry point' (anyone can call themselves a coach), there is a lack of regulation in the industry and even a failure to agree what coaching is/is not.  There are serious ethical implications due to this lack or regulation and it also highlights his main point, that of efficacy.  There is a lack of rigorous studies based on sound methodologies (eg randomised controlled trials) and the evidence for the positive effects of coaching is, therefore, open to criticism.  Vicky Ellam-Dyson's paper ('Coaching psychology research:  Building the evidence, developing awareness') is an attempt to balance some of these criticisms, for example, highlighting the difficulties of carrying out 'robust' research in applied settings.  I can also hear the humanists start to respond with 'To submit coaching to empirical research methods is to miss the point that coaching is experiential, subjective and it is the study of meaning that is important').  I have some sympathy with this view but I also support the idea that if coaching (or one-to-one work in general) is to be seen to be credible, we need to establish a much firmer evidence base, which goes beyond self-reports of either coach or coachee.  'Do what works' is no longer enough of a rationale.  We also need to be ready to subject ourselves to tougher, industry-wide standards, a code of ethics and regulation.  Coaching is about to get tougher and I don't mean for the coachee.

The role of the coach

I was sent this rather amusing image via Facebook the other day.  

Of course, it's meant as a bit of a put-down, a 'win-lose' strategy ('I elevate myself at your expense') and it is rather amusing, although I wouldn't want someone to use it on me.  So the fact that initially I found it amusing no longer sits comfortably with me.  Had I automatically put myself in the role of 'giver' rather than 'receiver'?  Why would I find it amusing from one perspective but not the other?  So it got me thinking, what is the difference between 'description' and 'insult'?  And why does one seem to matter more than the other?

Well, firstly, as I've just hinted, one important difference is that of intent.  A description implies a neutral stance, one of simply communicating a 'truth' that is 'out there'.  'Insult', on the other hand, implies that there is an intent attached to the narrative - there is an outcome attached to the 'description' - there is a lack of neutrality which is designed to achieve some aim or other.  An insult is designed to hurt and we feel it because it often attacks our sense of identity or we feel humiliated.  This particular statement works as an insult because it is attempting to form an equivalence between a person's opinion and an objective truth.  (ie 'I'm not just telling you what I think, it is also a fact, therefore true and indisputable'.)  It also implies that the receiver has failed to understand (and therefore there exists a difference in intellect) and also that the receiver has now walked into a carefully laid trap, which he only discovers at the moment it is too late to do anything about it.   It is saying 'Game, set and match - and if there is an audience to witness my expert humiliation of you, all the better'.

Let's leave aside the philosophical argument about whether there exists an objective world out there that can be described.  Minds much greater than mine have pondered this and I would add little to the debate!  What really struck me about this quote is that, more generally, it sums up what the job of a coach actually is.  In many circumstances the role of the coach is to separate 'facts' from 'interpretations'.   The popular psychology approach of Neuro Linguistic Programming (developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder) is one where the subjective experience of the individual is put at the centre of the field of study.  It proposes that we convert the world of objective reality to our own highly individualised subjective experience through the processes of Generalisation, Distortion and Deletion.  These are necessary and inevitable processes, but lead to a version of reality that is very different from the 'world out there'.  Uncovering just how someone has converted the facts to an interpretation can give some powerful insights into why they act the way that they do, while also providing useful pointers on how the person can change, should that be what they desire.

Sometimes these interpretations are deliberate and conscious.  (Have you ever felt the need to protect yourself, by blaming someone else, when an objective hasn't been achieved?).  More often than not, these interpretations are largely unconscious and have been established over time.  The longer they exist, the more they start to feel like 'reality' and we forget that they aren't really facts at all, just our perceptions.  At times, if left unexamined, these patterns can lead to limited choice and behaviours that don't always get the results we want.

A good coach can help to recover the difference between the two and in doing so, open up greater choice for the coachee.

Giving helpful feedback

It was widely reported in the UK press last week (see The Sunday Times, 14 October 2012 for an example), that Sir John Gurdon, recent winner of the Nobel Prize for medicine had been told at school that it was 'ridiculous' for him to consider a career in science.  On this news there flooded in many other examples of talented people being told at school that they were no good (including David Beckham being told that he wouldn't amount to much as a footballer).  Why would someone ever say such a thing?  I'm sure it was well meant at the time, but why make such a devastating prediction about someone's abilities, especially at such an impressionable age?  

There are many skills involved in giving feedback, one of which is knowing when you are moving from facts to interpretation (and then even further into prediction about the future).  Take the example of a young footballer who might be struggling with a specific skill.  The facts of the situation are based on tangible, visible elements such as his behaviour (in this case motor skills) and the results he is achieving.  Moving into an assessment of his current abilities is also a movement from the objective to more subjective territory.   Even so, the trainee's current performance might be more objectively compared against norms for his age group.  Shortfalls can easily be spotted and addressed without needing to go down the route of the 'no hoper' type of feedback seemingly given to Becks and Gurdon.  The performance manager who fails to notice when they are moving from facts to a more partial and individualised interpretation is setting him/herself up for difficulties while also potentially limiting the performance of their protege.  When ego gets involved and 'teacher knows best' takes over we are on dangerous ground.

When we train people to manage performance we first ask, 'Why would you take time out of your busy schedule to give someone feedback?'  There are many possible answers to this question, but we think, fundamentally, that you either want that person to repeat a good performance or to improve on their current levels.  Only once you are clear on your purpose can you then decide on what type of feedback to give (eg specific or general, motivational or formative) and what best style to use (eg ask or tell), how much to give and when to give it.  

Sure, there will be times (eg in selection interviewing or development centres) where some assessment of that person's potential has to be made, but telling someone they will never be any good (ever) surely can't help anyone?